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Built at the height of the Edwardian era Nemandible General Hospital is a testament to the style and confidence of that age - crowned by a forest of chimneys to provide an open fire in every ward and ranks of windows to deliver the fresh air and light that was needed the whole was topped by a brace of ornamental lanterns that concealed a state-of-the-art coal-fired ventilation system !!
To such practical ingenuity was also added the stylish refinement of a grand three-storey entrance hall and staircase.
While in back a therapeutic garden was included to cater for the convalescent - though, as can be seen, no consideration was given to the latest passing novelty - the horseless carriage
What the General needs today is a complete refurbishment - and a generous local philanthropist, eager to make a contribution to the local community, prepared to finance it.
The General's new ventilation system gleams in the sunlight - tucked away discretely on the roof, but under the banner of Gr-Ind - the business empire of Sir Arnold Grasp - parvenu, immigrant, johhny-cum-lately - but also husband to Lady Lavinia Grasp-Chinless, whose ancestors have been lords of the Nemandible district since the 13th Century.
Grasp engineers put the finishing touches to the new oil-fired central heating complex - everything must be ready for the grand Jubilee re-opening!
The decorative gardens are gone - in their place a modern car-park with proper access and a canopied entrance for the A&E; there's even a landing pad for the new air-ambulance - wearing the Grasp logo and colours of course!
Sir Arnold himself arrives for the Jubilee opening, sporting his trademark white jacket and matching limousin and escorted by Lady Lavinia and their daughter ,Isabelle.
Above the entrance gate the new nameplate says it all - while Dribble the Doberman maintains tradition and sends his own personalised answer
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