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Cup Final Day and and Nemandible Parva has become a ghost town as its citizens stream to the Chinless Wonderers Stadium
The players and their WAGS are waved in as the fans cue for entry to the car park - above them the twin domes that once inspired Wembley remind all of the teams illustrious nickname - The Boobies!
The Wonderers new owner makes his first public appearance in suitable style - the terraces marvel at the size of his chopper
Sir Arnold and Lady Lavinia Grasp-Chinless are welcomed in traditional style by the out-going chairman Jimmy 'Jock' Strap
Sir Arnold Grasp recognises the fans while local televison and his diminutive PR man, Lemuel Bleach, capture the moment for tomorrow's back-page. behind him his thigh-boot clad PA, Ms Thrash, keeps a respectful distance from Lady Lavinia
Let battle commence - the Boobies swing into action under Sir Arnold's new strip floods, a token of his commitment to the club.
A wave of indifference sweeps the terraces as Rutland Rovers win a corner but the Chinless goalie, Joe ' Look No Hands!' Fumbler is equal to the task!
Sir Arnold's new signing Dwayne, 'I Love Me, Who Do You Love?' Mooney, proves his worth ripping through the opposition
Sir Arnold mounts the podium as the whistle blows and his squad take the trophy!
At the back of the stadium the emergency services stand ready for the excited throng as it debouches!
The happy Nemandible crowd stream out joyful in the knowledge that they are now champions of the Chinless Chalice
Denied entry to the stadium Dribble the Doberman does his best to preserve tradition by helping to wash down Lady Lavinia's limousin
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